I just don't feel there is anything in me right now.

No drive. No motivation. No "her".

No desire, no passion.

Maybe it's because I do it all for a "her", and I find none to match my "him".

Maybe I shouldn't do it for "her", but for me.


But... it's hard when you've experienced something so beautiful, you believe it to be the essence
and true meaning to life.

So in a way, it is all for that "her" - wherever... whoever she is.

Though, there is no "her".... yet I seek none... doesn't mean I don't yearn for "her".
Not desperate, nor in a rush....
just a heightened sense of excitement.

Thinking that love lies beyond that horizon that seemingly inches closer and closer...
yet I don't want to get closer, I want to fall off of it into a new world.

Something different.... or maybe just something.

For sometimes these cricketless nights expose me to the dark and loneliness that eats
my hopes and soul.

It's "you" I am waiting for....

It's you whose light will help brighten my path....

My heart needs to relax....

You'll be here soon. I sometimes forgot who I am.... what God did for me and to me.

I just sometimes get exasperated.... impatient - and I forget that she will be here soon, and
she will blow my mind. She will love me.

She won't be exactly how I imagined her, because I don't know who my heart beats for....

Love is such a mystery, so surprising, so amazing. Sometimes we aren't all blessed to see the real colors of love...

Its true meaning, its true actions....

"Patience" you tell me, God.....

So I will wait. Not eagerly, but calmly.... Everyday is hard, because I know she's coming, but I don't know who it is, and I feel I might miss her.
Though, I know God won't have her miss me.

I just want to relax.... just not think about anything.

I've lost a lot.... I've been stripped, but that gives me hope. Hope that whatever the world took away, God will replace.

Not just replace, but double it.

I can't grab ghosts, so why am I trying to hold on to one?
I want something tangible....

Soft and sweet not just with their touch... but with their words.... their glances....

She will understand me....
She will adore me....
She will complete me....

She will love me